Reverse Psychology in 2007

I used to hate new year's resolutions, because I'm incapable of keeping to them-until now. After some careful thought, it occurred to me...I've been doing this all wrong. Every year I resolve to eat well, exercise more, etc., and what hapens...I eat junk food and lay on the couch (okay not really, but I certainly don't stick to my resolutions). The solution? Reverse Psychology. Don't know why I didn't think of this sooner! So, in 2007 I resolve the following:
1) I will not exercise at all.
2) I will rush through life, taking everything for granted.
3) I will overreact to every small bump in the road.
4) I will be a lousy parent, ignoring my son's milestones and and shoosh him frequently so I can hear my reruns of Law & Order.
5) I will smap at my husband a minimum of 6 times a day.
6) I will not blog regularly, and will never send emails to my friends and family.
7) I'll do the worst possible job at work, and I'll strive to obsess about my job long after I've come home. Ideally, I won't sleep, because I'll be replaying the workday in my head.
8) I won't clean my house. Ever.
9) At least 1 meal per week will consist of 100% trans fats.
There, that outta do it. Looks like 2007's going to be a banner year!